BIO

Reb Buxton has spent 23 years working with couples at the breaking point. After decades in the therapy room he developed a simple but counterintuitive framework called Couples in Crisis — built on the idea that most couples must earn the right to work on their problems. For individuals, Reb dives deep helping clients ask the most meaningful questions and find healing and purpose using the wisdom of spirituality and psychology. His book Supernatural explores miracles in everyday life and the spiritual dimension that runs through all of his work. His book — Couples in Crisis - Help for Love at the Breaking Point — distills his approach for couples. All sessions are virtual so he can work with clients anywhere.

TALKING POINTS / EPISODE ANGLES

• Why most couples struggle to make progress in therapy — and what needs to happen before a couple starts working on their problems

• The four stages of the Couples in Crisis framework: Decide, Safe, Connect, Solve and why the order matters

• "Are you choosing each other or just staying?" The first question every couple must answer

• Most couples need a coach, not a couch — the case for relationship training over traditional therapy

• Every interaction you have with your partner is either healing or harming — there is no neutral ground

• Speaking truthfully with kindness — the one skill that changes everything in a relationship

• The Big Cycle — why couples keep having the same fight and what it takes to finally break the pattern

• The biology of love — how personality type, attachment style, and parts work explain why couples keep wounding each other in the same way

• Beyond Solving Problems — the place all couples hope to achieve

• Why every man needs to pursue the virtues of love, wisdom, and integrity

• Do miracles happen — drawing from Supernatural and his spiritual direction training with the monks of St. Meinrads Archabbey

• Ending Well — how a relationship ends matters as much as how it began

SAMPLE INTERVIEW QUESTIONS

These questions are designed to give you a running start. Use them as written or as inspiration — happy to go wherever the conversation takes us.

1. You say most couples need a coach not a couch. What do you mean by that and why does it matter?

2. What is the Couples in Crisis framework and what makes it different from traditional couples therapy?

3. You believe couples have to earn the right to work on their problems. Can you explain that?

4. What is the most important question a couple in crisis can ask themselves?

5. What does it mean to speak truthfully with kindness and why is it so hard?

6. You talk about every interaction being either healing or harming. How does a couple start thinking that way?

7. What is The Big Cycle and why do couples keep getting stuck in it?

8. You wrote a book called Supernatural about miracles in everyday life. How does your faith inform your work with couples?

9. What does ending well look like and why does it matter?

10. You mention there is a place couples are searching for that is beyond problem solving. What is that place?

11. You've said this framework came from both professional experience and hard personal lessons. What were some of those personal lessons?

CREDENTIALS

• M.A. in Psychology, The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology

• B.A. in Banking & Finance, University of Southern Mississippi

• Oblate of St. Benedict (O.S.B.), St. Meinrad Archabbey

• 23 years in practice

• Author: The Hard Work of Happiness, LISTEN, Supernatural, Couples In Crisis

PAST MEDIA

The Unravel Podcast with Brady Toops (www.rebbuxton.com/podcast)