Connection happens when there is intentional, continual, and mutual cultivation of compassion, curiosity, courage, and respect in a relationship. 

You should always have an agenda for connection. You should never allow yourself to be emotionally bullied or physically abused.

Every interaction you have with your partner will either be healing or harming. By your thoughts, words and actions, you tip the scale one way or the other.

When you disconnect from your partner, your body will react first. You must train yourself to stop and recognize this change and name it to yourself and your partner. After sharing your experience of the disconnection, invite your partner to share their experience of the moment. 

When it comes to solving your relationship problems, you must earn the right to work on your problems by first learning how to connect. You must prioritize connection over solving problems. Connection is not what solves your problems. It is what makes solving your problems finally possible.

Connection should not be the sole responsibility of one person in the relationship.

Using your partner’s disconnection as a weapon against them to shame and blame them to do what you want is wrong and will cause damage

Learn the difference between unhealthy disconnection and healthy disengagement. Learn how to ask for healthy disconnection when you need space. Learn how to give your partner space when they need healthy disengagement.

 Connection In Absentia - Love your partner well when you are apart. Send loving texts, think good thoughts about them, and talk about them fondly to others. 

 Make an intentional effort to live everyday with love, wisdom, and integrity.