FUNDAMENTALS OF CONNECTION
Below are my ten core fundamentals for how to achieve a deep connection and be a Happy Couple.
Our work will focus on using these principles to build a solid connection between you and your partner.
They also serve as helpful guides to return to when breakdowns happen so you can better understand where the work in your relationship needs to be done. Add this page to the home screen on your phone for quick access.
1) Connection happens when there is intentional, continual, and mutual cultivation of compassion, curiosity, courage, and respect in a relationship.
2) You should always have an agenda for connection. You should never allow yourself to be emotionally bullied or physically abused.
3) Every interaction you have with your partner will either be healing or harming. By your thoughts, words and actions, you tip the scale one way or the other.
4) When you disconnect from your partner, your body will react first. You must train yourself to stop and recognize this change and name it to yourself and your partner.
5) While reconnecting as soon after a disconnection is optimal, it isn’t always the best option. Sometimes it is wiser to give yourself time to process an experience before responding. Pausing for several hours allows for different perspectives to emerge and emotions to calm.
6) When it comes to solving your relationship problems, you must earn the right to work on your problems by first learning how to stay connected. You must prioritize connection over solving problems. Connection is not what solves your problems. It is what makes solving your problems finally possible.
7) Connection should not be the sole responsibility of one person in the relationship.
8) Using disconnection as a weapon against your partner will damage your relationship. Learn the difference between unhealthy disconnection and healthy disengagement.
9) All Happy Couples must learn how to speak truthfully with kindness.
10) Connection In Absentia - Love your partner well when you are apart. Send loving texts, think good thoughts about them, and talk about them fondly to others.