Love Is Not Only About Finding The Right Person
Last week I posted this on Instagram: Love is not about finding the right person but building the right relationship.
A friend pushed back in the comments. She argued it was both — finding and building. After sitting with that I realized she was right.
So let me say it more completely: Love is not only about finding the right person. It is about building the right relationship.
How two people find each other is one of life's great mysteries. Some think it's a numbers game. The more people you date the more likely you are to find someone worth staying for. Others believe it's closer to destiny, where two souls were always going to find each other. Logical or mystical, most people believe it’s a mix of both.
But here is what the finding cannot do on its own: it cannot build the relationship. That part is entirely up to you.
Every relationship — no matter how right the person — will face seasons of difficulty. Building the right relationship is what carries you through them. Three principles that will help you build the right relationship are:
Speak truthfully with kindness.
Always remember, every interaction with your partner will either be healing or harming.
If you are not bringing more love into your relationship, you are doing it wrong.
If you have found your person, hold them close. Love them well.
If you are still looking — keep working on yourself. The best thing you can do while waiting for the right person is to become the right person.
The finding and the building. Both matter. Neither is enough without the other.
