You Can Feel Physically Safe And Still Be In An Unsafe Relationship
Most couples don't think they are in an unsafe relationship. There is no violence or verbal abuse. The house is clean, the bills are paid, there might even be a vacation planned. From the outside everything looks fine, but look closer.
The eye rolls when one partner starts talking. The deep sigh that says this again. The mocking laugh. The fidgeting boredom while the other person is mid-sentence. Contempt lives just below every interaction.
This is an emotionally unsafe relationship.
Physical safety is the minimum but most couples clear this bar easily. However, without emotional safety nothing real can be spoken, nothing vulnerable can be offered, and nothing genuine can grow.
Contempt is the single greatest predictor of a relationship ending. It means you have moved past caring to a cold, distant place within.
The eye roll, the sigh, the mocking laugh are not small things. They communicate something devastating to the person on the receiving end: you are beneath my respect.
No one can build anything real with a person who holds them in contempt.
Bringing more love into your relationship starts with being safe with each other.
— Reb
Reb Buxton, M.A., O.S.B. | Couples in Crisis | rebbuxton.com
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